


Walt Disney's Captain America

by copperbadge



Category: Disney - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Movie Night, Characters Watching Disney Movies, Disney Movies, Gen, Movie Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 08:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7308067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copperbadge/pseuds/copperbadge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony gives the Avengers a crash course in Disney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walt Disney's Captain America

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt: _Tony realizes that some of the Avengers haven't seen the Disney movies (Thor and Steve, maybe Natasha?) He makes them marathon it._ Things I discovered writing this fic: I cannot spell Dalmatians.
> 
> Now available **[In Russian!](https://ficbook.net/readfic/6412757)**

It didn't occur to Tony until they were in the middle of a firefight. He could have had better timing, but art chooses its own moment. 

"Wait, you haven't seen the Disney _Captain America?_ " he asked over the comms, dodging the anti-aircraft missiles the Hydra holdout base was firing at him.

"I haven't seen a Disney movie since _Bambi_ ," Steve grunted, sending a Hydra agent spinning away from him and taking out the missile-launcher with a toss of the shield. 

"What is this ‘Disney'?" Thor inquired, landing next to Steve. 

"It's a movie studio," Steve said. "They make the animated ones."

"Like the adventures of the Ice Bear and his brethren?" Thor asked.

"Yeah, only longer."

"I can't believe you've seen _We Bare Bears_ but not _Robin Hood_ ," Tony complained.

"I saw _Snow White_ ," Natasha said, stepping out of the shadows as Tony landed. "I saw _Snow White_ about three hundred times. We used it to learn English. I really hate _Snow White_." 

"You cultural illiterates," Tony said. "Sam, Clint, back me up here."

"Were you super into Disney as a kid?" Clint asked, as Sam dropped him onto the roof. Sam landed a second later, wings furling. 

"Dad hated Disney passionately," Tony said. "Disney won the bid for the rights to use Cap in entertainment media. Dad figured he bribed the general who was doing the selling."

"So naturally you love them," Sam observed. Tony gestured like he was cocking and firing a gun at Sam. 

"Okay, so, let's mop this place up, call SHIELD, and get home," Tony said, rubbing his gauntleted hands together. "I am going to show you the best of Disney, 1945 to the present."

"As long as we skip _Song Of The South_ ," Sam said. 

***

"The first Disney movie I ever saw was _The Sword In The Stone,_ " Tony said, later that night, as the Avengers congregated in the screening room. Everyone but Steve had popcorn; Steve had a massive bag of peanuts. "The kids at boarding school found out I'd never seen a Disney movie because _see: Howard's loathing_ , and one of the upperclassmen girls managed to get a copy of _Sword in the Stone_. We all snuck into the health classroom with a bunch of chairs we stole from the dorm common room, because the health classroom had a VCR, which was very fancy at the time. When it was over they made me give a two-minute critical reaction speech, because we were very driven young children."

"How old were you?" Sam asked.

"Nine? Ten? Somewhere in there. Anyway, a bunch of kids wrote home and got their parents to send them videotapes. Got to be a tradition, sneaking out and screening Disney movies after lights-out." Tony gave a satisfied sigh as the projector came on and an image of the Disney logo appeared. "First philanthropic grant I ever made was to the old alma mater for a screening room and a popcorn machine. They have a very good film-studies program now." 

"So what are we watching?" Steve asked.

"Out of deference to Natasha, we will not be viewing _Snow White_ this evening," Tony said, with a little bow to her. She nodded back regally. "First will be _The Sword In The Stone_ , and you may all understand the psychology of me better afterwards, followed by _101 Dalmatians_ , followed by _The Little Mermaid_." 

"Not _Captain America_?" Steve asked.

"We're going to save that for Drinking Game Night," Tony said.

"Ooh, what do we watch during Drinking Game Night?" Clint asked.

" _Tron, The Lion King,_ and when we are really properly drunk, _Captain America_ ," Tony said. 

"What about _The Fox And The Hound?_ " 

"WE DON'T SPEAK OF THAT MOVIE IN THIS HOUSE," Tony said loudly, then cleared his throat. "Behold, novices: I bring you Disney."

***

Tony, admittedly, fell asleep sometime after Pongo met Perdita in _101 Dalmatians_ , his head on Steve's shoulder. He woke to Steve frantically clutching his shirt as the Dalmatians made their escape.

"Does Cruella DeVille get them?" Steve whispered, as Tony blinked awake. 

"What kind of monster do you think Walt Disney was?" Tony asked.

"He killed Bambi's mom," Sam pointed out.

"He killed everyone's mom," Tony said, waving a hand. 

"IS PERDITA GOING TO DIE?" Steve demanded. 

"No, nobody dies, oh my god," Tony yawned. "In this movie, I mean. This is why we drink during _The Lion King._ " 

"Swear to me Perdita doesn't die," Steve insisted.

"I swear to you no dogs die in the making of this film," Tony said. "We're going to have to get you so hammered for _Captain America._ You know _you die_ in _Captain America_ , right?"

"I got better," Steve sniffed.

"Not before you traumatized a generation of patriotic young children, including myself," Tony said. 

"I took Captain America's death hard," Sam agreed. 

"These Dalmatians are a mighty and intelligent breed," Thor said. "We need one."

"I'm beginning to see why Dad never let me watch these," Tony grumbled, nudging Steve into the proper position for continued use as a pillow. He drifted off to Steve and Natasha having a furious whispered conversation about whether Cruella DeVille or Madam Mimm would win in a fight.

**Author's Note:**

> BTW it would be Cruella. Fight me.


End file.
